Surely God wants us to be happy, but what if marriage is more about making us holy instead of just being happy. This companionship has an aspect of happiness designed into it, but it is the classical definition of happiness (in this case a prospering in one’s relationships) and not the modern version of feeling good about oneself or one’s circumstances in life – marital or otherwise. According to WetPaint, Sean seems to be saying that his own marriage to Catherine is more about God than the couple’s romantic relationship.None of this should come as a surprise to anyone who knows how faith-centered the former Bachelor is. When we took the same course in graduate school, he was content with an A- (or even a B+!) This is a wonderful post. He spoke thoughtfully, ensuring that his words contributed to the well-being of others. 4.0 out of 5 stars Good book to prep for marriage. We report on news and give our opinion on topics such as church, family, sexuality, discipleship, pop culture, and more! When we climbed mountains, he didn't need to go to the top—he was content with going halfway. People, including Christians are looking for happiness in all the wrong places. God uses marriage to produce holiness in us, not necessarily happiness. Charity. The truth didn't always have to be painful. If you understand what holiness is, you come to see that real happiness is on the far side of holiness, not on the near side. The other half of this, what follows the “marriage is not about happiness” lie is God made marriage as a way to prefect us, grow us up, help us work things out, make us holy, or something like that. I am utterly convinced God designed marriage to help us grow in holiness. C.S. Often translated "wisdom," the word prudence comes from the word providence, which means "to see ahead." Marriage the Way it Was Intended Ultimately my belief about homosexuality (being that it is not the way God created us, and a sin to act on those desires) is rooted in the way that God created marriage. Still other groups have emphasized the spiritual goals of marriage. It’s written by a guy named Gary Thomas. Beautiful message! CT's weekly newsletter highlighting the voices of women writers. Thanks for your feedback. Holiness in marriage is a very practical thing. Read more articles that highlight writing by Christian women at ChristianityToday.com/Women. He was a diligent worker, but he didn't feel compelled to put in excessively long hours. Yet there we were, barefoot on a sandy beach outside Santa Barbara, making our vows to the sound of rushing waves crashing on the shore. She speaks regularly in front of hundreds of people even though she's terrified of public speaking. It was almost like a contest of who could go the longest without acknowledging the other’s presence … and I used to be that way!! "Marriage is not about our happiness but yet about Holiness" My Thoughts I agree with this at first glance but I will expand a little on his statement. | God's Way Actually Works, Foundational Attribute of a Strong Marriage: Forgiveness | God's Way Actually Works. :0), […] some slack and extend grace, you will be amazed by how much happier you are. This passage from Ephesians on marriage … The writer of Hebrews also seems to point toward holiness in marriage. On our way to the airport after the service, I asked Dr. Williams about another friend, P. S. Thomas and his family. Then I realized that was a LIE! Once again, this points toward holiness, not happiness. 1. In this 40-minute session from the 2015 Marriage Ministry Conference, Gary Thomas, author of "Sacred Marriage," and Ted Cunningham, well-known author and founding pastor of Woodland Hills Family Church, debate whether happiness or holiness is more important in marriage. Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. For him, it wasn't so much about the destination as it was the journey along the way. Marriage yokes us to an imperfect person who … let’s face it … is selfish, just as we, at our cores, are also selfish. During this period, Paul taught me his "three-day rule." (2) Happiness is not the goal of marriage. Join in the conversation on Facebook or Twitter. She divides her life into two segments – before and after March 2013, when she made the commitment to tithe the first hour of her day to one-on-one time with God no matter what. When holiness is the goal, the person sees trials as opportunity for growth instead of hindrances to their own happiness or worse yet a sign that their marriage isn’t working. It was a difficult transition, especially in the beginning. Marriage is about HOLINESS, not Happiness, Grace’s Story: My “Love Dare” Experience | God's Way Actually Works, Did I Marry the Right Person? Of course, our marriages are fallen. But, my happiness doesn’t come from him alone. She is currently writing a book to help Christian women leaders thrive in ministry. Marriage provides a daily context for spiritual growth because it gives us opportunities to put away sinful tendencies and practice more virtuous behaviors. Change ), You are commenting using your Facebook account. CT's weekly newsletter to help women grow their marriage and family relationships through biblical principles. His thesis goes like this: “Marriage is not primarily about your happiness. He does. This isn’t to say that my beloved doesn’t make me happy. How our marriage has made us better people, What a bicycle built for two did to our marriage, Embracing age in a youth-obsessed culture. He created marriage to be a picture of Him. I'd been working for the company for 14 years, and I'd known God was calling me to leave the company for a long time, but I couldn't imagine leaving after all the years I'd put into the company. I would agree God uses marriage to do these things, but He uses many things. Marriage Isn’t for Everyone. Charity is the highest, the most important of the three theological virtues (faith, hope, charity). Studies have repeatedly concluded that married people are happier than men and women who … We bring things that do not belong, such as bitterness and anger. Holiness within marriage is essential for us to maintain an active prayer life. 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