But to have a happy marriage you have to accept your partner’s strengths and weaknesses and be able to set realistic expectations, says Ellen Chute, LMSW. But sometimes, people choose who they think they’ll be happiest with only to find out they are incorrect. To say it was shakey, or rocky doesn’t even come close. When God gives gifts, his number one aim is not … If you are seeking to always make someone’s day better, then you will be happy. Inspiring spiritual truths that answer your deepest questions. Who do you want to help you raise them? Your life partner is an asset to you in the evolution of your becoming, but that partnership is not the whole of your becoming. But I will also make you sadder than you’ve ever been and madder than you’ve ever been.” And you know what? After thirty years of teaching Inner City, Special Education students and Just keep reading.I grew up The Bible gives clear descriptions of the sacred roles the husband and wife are to play in marriage.Roles are not meant to be burdensome or oppressive. It’s meant to make you conscious. Which is what we’ve been hungry for all along. If you're in an unhealthy relationship, and you and your partner are willing to put in the work to save your marriage, reach out to a licensed counselor today to start online marriage counseling. Source: rawpixel.com. I have sought at least fifteen, personal psychic readings to try and assist me as a wife, teacher and caretaker. It will give you an opportunity to find happiness in peace, in letting go, in learning what’s worth fighting for, in figuring out how to love an imperfect person, in seeing what commitment is and what compromise feels like. Marriage doesn’t always feel like this type of gift, because at times it does not make us happy. Then, of course, there’s sexual attraction, which people often confuse with compatibility. The more right a person is for us, we think, the less suffering we will experience. It gives so much more than it takes. Join Alyssa as she ponders this question as it applies to moments of bad traffic, tragedy, and daily toil. We gather these through experiences: familiarity, family ties, failed relationships, trauma, other people’s beliefs, our own ideas about who we are and what we should do in life. It would be a disgrace to use a phrase like, “Marriage is Meant to make her Holy, not Happy,” an an excuse for selfish behavior. How our relationship goes affects our work, our co-workers, our extended families, and friends. Stick through the hard times and work on the tough issues. At Imago Dei's recent Marriage Refresh Forum, Professional Counselor Paul Elmore and his wife Shannon Elmore presented a different, more enduring model based on Scripture. Jan 17, 2018 - I know what you're thinking... is she trying to say it's not possible to be happily married?No. Yes, marriage should be wonderful but marriage is not meant not to make you happy. Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog. View Larger Image. You want to save money. They exist to be companions — separate, but equal — at once our responsibility, and yet very much out of our control. Log in. Today. “Marriage seems to buy you a decade or more of happiness,” Gilbert said. PeanutButter. Zero Intimacy physically, or emotionally. Marriage Was Not Designed To Make You Happy | Black and Married With Kids.com - A Positive Image of Marriage and Family. It was literally falling apart day by day. Pretty good article. The latest study claiming that marriage makes you … The relationship between marriage and happiness is, like most things in psychological science, bi-directional. When you view your partner less as your savior and more as the person you get to hang out with until you die, you’re more likely to forgive their shortcomings and accept that they’re not, and never will be, perfect. Whether or not you are single, there are people who love you, but it can be hard to see sometimes. Alyssa explains how a traffic jam helped her remember that life is not meant to make us happy. You begin to doubt your marriage and your ability to make your husband happy or to be enough. To put an expectation on someone else that their commitment to you is a commitment to keep you in a constant state of happiness, is fucking lunacy. Short answer: YES! What I mean by this is finding several things to find fulfillment in other than your marriage. We attach ourselves to people who most significantly mirror our strengths and wounds. The sharing of souls and dreams and flesh. The real work is not about finding the right person. It's not about you. forty-five years of metaphysical studies, I have decided to share my life's philosophical understandings on this wonderful website. I sure didn’t disappoint. For example, if you’re better with numbers, don’t get angry when they misbalance the checkbook. But the first question that any… When we say, “You need God and a good spouse to be happy,” we have elevated marriage to the level of God and made it an idol. Not just for the in-laws and all of that nonsense, but for your future children. We attach ourselves to people who most significantly mirror our strengths and wounds. Happiness must always come from within, never from without. We grow up thinking the hardest part will be finding the “right” person, who we assume will be the key to a happy life. The magic of marriage is that it’s not meant to make you feel happy in that dopamine-laced, movie-ending kind of way. Here, you can listen to the full-length recording of their session. and intimate relationship with for the rest of your existence. Helpful. Marriage isn't for you. At Imago Dei's recent Marriage Refresh Forum, Professional Counselor Paul Elmore and his wife Shannon Elmore presented a different, more enduring model based on Scripture. And there are tons of old stereotypes which imply that if a man cheats, it's because his wife doesn't understand him, he's not happy in his marriage, or his sex life at home is lacking. Being in a successful relationship is better than being single. Pick up your copy of Sacred Marriage today and learn how you too can have not only a great marriage but a love affair with the One True God. If you were a miserable person going into marriage, you will be a miserable person married. If marriage is to make me holy, and if what I really mean by that is that the hard parts of marriage make … These unrealistic expectations can wreck you if you let them. 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